Single Motherhood After Being a Stay at Home Mom

Mothers are the most important constant variable and nurturing presence for children in their infancy and toddlerhood. Mothers are home for a baby, in a world that is strange, cold and unknown. They lived within her womb for 9 months, and their energies and physiologically interlaced.

Mother not only carries and aids in the creation of her baby, but she also provides sustenance and comfort, both in womb, and after baby is born, while breastfeeding.

Due to these factors, I have come to the understanding that mothers are the single most important person to remain a constant presence for babies. They are literally a source of survival, comfort and security. I was a stay at home mom for 8 years before ultimately deciding that divorce was the best option. While I knew my soul was leading me toward something new and more aligned to my heart, it was still one of the most risky and scary decisions I've made in my life.

I recorded a podcast about this subject that you can listen to here, but I forget to add some key challenges I have faced myself, so I am writing this blog in order to address what I missed in the podcast.

The emotional aspects of shifting from stay at home mom, to part time homeschooling mom, and working when the kids aren't with me, is a difficult aspect in itself; but it isn't as hard as trying to balance your time alone with earning an income that is heart centered, not just a job to pay the bills that you don't even like.

Making the decision to continue homeschooling after we divorced, was an easy one for me, but it also made it more challenging to figure out a schedule for working and having time for myself, which I feel is crucial for healing after breakups. So it was basically impossible to find a full time job that I could work just the days I didn't have my kids, and since I have them with me the whole time because we homeschool, they aren't in school during the days. Taking all of these things into consideration, I decided to do grocery delivery and Doordash, since I could work my own schedule and longer days.

I don't lack an education or work history. I have a bachelors in retail management as well as several nutritional certifications, and I worked several jobs before ultimately deciding to stay home full time. The hard part about looking for "regular" jobs after being out of the work force for 8 years, is that you don't have a current work history, or references, or recent experience in the work force, since being a homemaker doesn't hold much credentials to employers.

The most beautiful, yet confusing steps in healing after divorce, is the journey of your own self exploration and rediscovering who you are. The conditioned behaviors many mothers find themselves in with their children and partners, can bring up a new layer of awakening. The socially accepted way of mothering can cause you to lose yourself, and lose sight of your own needs. This societal norm is viewed as a sort of virtuosity of motherhood, the self sacrificing martyrdom at the cost of a mothers emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being.

So I ask you this now. Who are you?

Who are you when no one else is around?

Who are you beyond the labels of society?

Who are you beyond the clothes, and hair, and makeup and mask of the persona you play?

When you discover who that is, you will meet the authenticity of your soul.

Love & Gratitude

Jessica Olson

Wild Mother Awakening